senioritis pt. 2

My second day of school:

1. Ran into SG twice in one day at two different locations. Imagine that. After not seeing each other in months.

2. Ran into Sher...nice.

3. Lunch with Ashley at Subway..."eat fresh!"

4. I don't like the way this semester's starting out. I"m scrambling to find and add classes, tweaking my schedule, and feeling like I don't really want to do it anymore. This whole lookin for classes is distracting and I feel very uprooted, not like previous semesters where I got off to running starts.

5. One part of the scrambling is to please someone I want to please. I want to take the afternoon section, but someone wants me to take the evening section so someone doesn't have to be alone. I aim to please. LAME LAME LAME.

I gotta get over this and focus; keep my eye on the fucking prize. #5 is plain ol' LAME!

6. I hope lying to another "someone/something (think big institution/big brother)" doesn't bite me hard in the ass. Oh, that's gonna freak me out for sure. All this worry because of convenience/(laziness?). Now I know how Bachi feels. Hopefully I don't go to jail for that one. Vague (think of the song, a spoof of "Vogue" by Julie Brown in Medusa)!

7. Found out why my financial aid hasn't been disbursed: because they don't count waitlisted classes, so I only have 10 frikkin units instead of the mandatory 12! Ugh!

to dance or not to dance

Last Saturday evening, I saw my first Likha show since their 1992 10-year anniversary show (which I thought was the best ever).

Oh it was so great to run into old friends. I felt very happy.

Of course several people kept saying or asking when I'd come dance again. Some of them asked me that question ever since I left the group in 2000, but this time around, I might give it some serious thought.

You see, when I left, it was on the heels of the most horrible experience a performer could have. I fucked up so many times during the BIG annual show where my family and friends were in the audience. Also in the audience were people who knew how things were supposed to be, like former group members, other dancers from other companies, stage professionals, etc. And my mistakes were so visible because of the parts I played. I was so embarrassed. Maybe things happened the way they did because several months leading to the show, my "fire was extinguished" and I just didn't want to do it anymore.

I'm ashamed to say that that performance still haunts me to this day. I think of it often. I still haven't learned to let go. I vowed to someday "correct" my mistakes, but not speficically with Likha, but perhaps another similar vehicle. But I think the only way to face and beat my demons is to go back to "Ground Zero."

I think I'm almost at the place where I feel ready to dance again. School's winding down, and I'm planning to take several weeks vacation to the Philippines after graduation in December; I need a dose of my cultural roots again, so we'll see what time it is then.

senioritis

First day of school went like this:

1. DAI 505: Research and Development Lab seemed interesting. That class definitely has lots of work in store for us. 2 of my top 5 from DAI 300 (Fall '04) are in the class ;)

2. Ran into Mitz in the hallway. Mitz sported a new 'do. I like it, of course. With a face like that, you can't go wrong. :p

3. Visited Ashley's new work place on campus. Ashley's always good for a lot of laughs. Ashley also has a new 'do, which I also like.

4. Ran into Ms. Noble who asked me to TA for her class. It's cool, at lease there's 3 units to fall back on if I can't find/add into another class.

5. Ate at the cafeteria again. Ugh, I still couldn't get the taste of the chicken strips from last semester out of my mouth, so why did I go back for more? sigh. At least they had the barbeque meatballs this time also, along with those teeny shrimp popcorn bites.

6. ID 240: Color and Design: seems like a waste of my time and money. Not really feeling this class, although if I drop it, I'd forfeit all the eye candy. sigh. But the teacher seems a little on the dumbass side. I mean, she butchered almost every single name on the roll sheet. I mean how hard is it to say/read "Ophelia/Ofelia" or "Chloe" or "Ignacio????" Hello, you're in the Bay Area, get with the program. As I said, good thing the TA credits are there to fall back on.

7. Noticed all the missing headphones while walking throughout campus. Where did all the iPods go? Does nobody bring their iPods to school anymore? Is it just me? Did I not get the memo? Bizarre.

8. Felt symptoms of senioritis. Felt them even early on this summer. But when I start thinking about not wanting to pursue a class or "do I really need to be here?" then we've got a problem. Ugh.

mississippi marsala

The rest of my Friday went like this:

Found a packet of vegetarian chili from Trader Joe's, so ate that for lunch, then ate soy cream and rice cream for dessert.

Met up with former coworkers from SFSU at Chevy's. I only had chips and salsa and water there, because I had another engagement at Bennihana with Roomie and some of Sac State Advancement people.

I've never eaten at Bennihana. I only glance at the animated chefs and their fancy techniques on the hibachi through the Japantown mall window. Too bad I didn't catch the show because of the previous engagement, but I ate Roomie's and the Queen Bee's leftovers which were absolutely DEE-LISH! Roomie had steak, and QB had chicken. The flavorfull food I guess justified the price for each meal.

Afterwards, some of us went to Hukilau for drinks, since my intern boss joined the Sac people for dinner, and he owns Hukilau. After it was all over, I wound up finishing four drinks: two different mixed and two different shots. Even though I'm a lightweight, it didn't hit me as bad. The food I had beforehand really helped from me becoming a disaster in front of two of my former bosses.

Roomie and I came back to the Miyako where we relaxed in the suite's sauna. That helped me get to sobreity a little quicker. And, I finally finished the chicken marsala from last night. It was cold, of course, and so I couldn't taste much of the flavor anymore, or maybe it was because the alcohol probably numbed my mouth and taste buds.

Oh I hope the hangover isn't too bad in the morning.

i miss my marsala!

Oh woe to me. Last night, Roomie and I checked into Japantown's Miyako Hotel because his work has some kind of retreat all day today. Since staying at hotels is always fun, he invited me to hang and spend the night.

We ordered room service. I picked the chicken marsala, which was delicious. They provided two pieces of breast with tons of mushrooms, penne pasta, and veggies as sides. I ate one last night, which filled me up just fine. The other I saved for today's lunch. The junior suite we're staying in doesn't have a fridge, but I figured one day won't spoil the chicken.

I left the hotel this morning to come back to my apartment to take care of things, then hit the gym. I realized after driving home and craving the marsala (my mouth is wayyy watery for the amazing taste), that I left it in the frikkin room.

We have one more night at the hotel, but I've got two dinner engagements tonight, and who knows if the food left at the hotel will keep for one more day. Like they say, chicken is pretty sensitive like that.

Now my fridge is pretty empty, except for some Gatorade, bottled water, soy milk, and the freezer has some soy cream (ice cream for us lactose intolerants). Seems like it's off to the McDonald's two blocks away for me and their dollar menu. Sigh. (boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo)

amazing grace

The amazing Grace Nono performed two chants over at the house in Elk Grove on Saturday, followed by a q & a, then an old song in which we got audience members up on their feet dancing. The dancing was led by members of a Pilipino folk dance group from Bukidnon in Mindanao.

This woman's got an amazing voice; it absolutely mesmerizes you and gives you goosebumps.

It was fun spending the afternoon in the presence of a celebrity/activist/literary/artist/the list goes on...

not monica lewinsky

My month + 1/2 graphic design summer internship ended today. Wouldn't you know it, as it always does, this was the best week at that place because I was counting down the days and hours til freedom, and of course you feel so much more relaxed when you know the end is near.

Things like: that other designer guy finally warming up to you or talking to you more start to happen, or just feeling happy in general.

The boss took me out to lunch on Wednesday. What a nice guy. He said some really nice things. I learned a lot from my short gig there. I even got to go with him and the other senior designer to a client presentation; exciting stuff! It's interesting to see how the client reacts to the work that you design.

It's a good thing this internship produced no scandal, like that one time with Bill and Monica.