happy 2011

For most of the last few months leading up to the new year, I dreaded 2011 and thought negatively about the year, contrasting it with how great 2010 was. Of course the negative thoughts manifested themselves to a rough start: the end of my temporary assignment, falling out/fights with family members and friends, and a general sense of losing my mojo again.

I needed some reminders of what made 2010 a personally successful one, and thankfully my cousin "slapped" some sense into me. Here are some notes I took from that phone conversation:

-Focus on having a positive attitude.

-We all have a choice to see the glass as half full or empty. The situation is the same, but the way you look at it is a world of difference.

-When you feel "bad," you think negatively, and vice-versa.

-It doesn't change anything if you focus on the negative, instead, think of the good things in life.
So you don't have a job anymore, at least you're not out on the street, for example.

-Law of Attraction: if you feel good and look at the good things, you'll get more of the good stuff. Focus on good things so you'll get more good things.

-Think good thoughts to get good vibes.

-Check your thoughts - think positively.

-Stick to a decision and commit to it, so there are no mixed signals.

-If you want it, go for it. Never feel guilty. Never mix energies because if you do something but have some nagging negative feelings about it, like "oh I should've saved my money for something else," then you'll wind up not enjoying whatever it is you bought.

-We are responsible for what we feel, nobody else.

-Nobody knows what's best for me but me.

-If you're having fun, have fun, don't let other people make you feel guilty.

-When you're committed to looking for a job (heart, mind, soul), then you're more likely to find one or it finds you.

-Check yourself. If you feel "bad," you must be thinking something negative.

-If you don't forgive, you're bearing that grudge/guilt the rest of your life. The other person may not even be thinking about it or care, so you're at a disadvantage. Forgiveness is really for Yourself, so unload the burden by forgiving.

-Thinking positively is kinda like flossing. Most people would rather not do it, but it's good for your mouth health. You have to condition yourself, much like learning to brush your teeth when you're younger. Brushing is now second-nature. We must learn to do the same with positive thinking. It feels awkward at first because we're all so conditioned to think negatively as a first response.

Yay, let's turn this frown upside down baby! Here's to a really great rest of the year!

drifter

I'm a drifter that's caught in a place where I can't get free and go to where the wind takes me.

i fucking found you!

Thanks to zabasearch, I unbelievably got in contact with Jess! There listed several phone numbers and addresses for possible matches, so I called one and that first call was answered by him. I'm stoked, it's unbelievable. And I didn't have to pay to find this information, which leads me to freak out about how "safe" my personal information is also. Well I really don't have to worry about it anyway because who'd be looking for me right? Whew.

I'm on such a high right now. It's weird, I wanted to do this all week, and it happened. Cool.

deb agron and tracy kerr...

Where too are you guys? We took photography classes at City College San Francisco in 1993.

jess g. moralde where are you?

Seriously Jess G. Moralde, from Vintage High School in Napa California, class of 1990. I've looked for you the last few months on Myspace, Friendster, Facebook, Google, but can't find you.
Where are you? Get in touch with me by posting a comment here, and let's go from there. Are you still alive?

the ritz travelodge

Roomie and I had to get a room in the city a couple weekends ago. Right across Martuni's was a lovely place that had rooms open up at 2:15AM because of reservation no-shows. Lukcy us.

The room came with a king-size bed, tv, everything you need for a pleasant stay. The best part was something you'd definitely want to steal over any plush towel or whatever people steal from their hotel room or bathroom: a used syringe/bioharazardous waste receptacle. All for $59, can't beat that!

death of an ipod

Apple is a master at planned obsolescence. My iPod crashed two days ago, on my way home from work. It was hooked up via cassette adapter to the car radio.

Went to the Apple Store today to just get it checked out. The Mac Genius said the hard drive's dead. They'll give me 10% off a new one if I recycle through them, or see if I can Google a $50 repair job.

Funny thing is, the CD player in my car started to skip around the time I got this iPod at the end of July 2004. So the iPod kept me company and entertained all that time driving, also while working out, and walking to and from classes. And now that I have an iPhone, the iPod goes. I also just got Roomie the new iPod Touch for a birthday gift two weeks ago. We'll see how long that one lasts.

"Planned obsolescence is the enemy," as one of my classmates in a Design and Industry history class declared in her paper. So true, so true. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and the like make billions off of this. The laptop I type this blog on started having major issues almost three years after the purchase date. Three years I guess is the magic number. Three quick years worth hundreds or thousands of dollars to people like me, and maybe you ;)

marion jones

Here's a good article about the Marion Jones mess.

I really like Marion, even though she's cocky and sorta bad-mouthed Inger Miller, I still felt she represented the US very well. She was superwoman, and she made me and so many others believe that "it" is possible. Her races were so exciting to watch, especially the ones where she ran people down! She inspired and allowed people to dream. USA! USA! USA!

Roomie bought into the whole BALCO scandal; read books and articles about it. Everytime I or we watched tapes with Marion in it, Roomie would point and say with an accusatory voice: "cheater" or "drugs." I shrugged it off, even though I was the first to say, wow, look how round her face got and how many pimples she has.

I watched her race at the 1999 World Championships and immediately watched her race in the 2000 Olympics. I showed Roomie both tapes, one after the other to compare her facial features. In 1999 she was so "gaunt," and in 2000, looked bloated. The two tell-tale signs I remember about people on steroids is that they have pimples and their face get puffy (Ben Johnson).

I think she took the stuff because Inger Miller was catching up, especially at the 1999 Worlds, and also because she got injured at that same meet. The article above also mentioned the Olympic schedule...a good point.

I knew she was on something, but I still wanted to believe that she wasn't. I still like her. I'm just sad about the whole thing. I wait for the interview, for someone to ask her "why?" She didn't need it, she's so naturally talented.

cape fear

Back on Monday, I stopped by Walmart in Vallejo to pick up some food for the cats; they like Fancy Feast. I noticed a guy behind me in the checkout line buying an EPT pregnancy test. Although I only saw his face very briefly, like a half a second, I sensed the fear, anxiety, and dread in his eyes. All I could think of was that he's someone who A.B. does not like (think "wb"). And I could see her laughing at the guy's distress and at the same time rolling her eyes of the thought that another baby might pop out soon.

I didn't know whether to feel sorry for the guy or look at the humorous side of the situation, if there was one. Like a Seinfeld episdoe comes to mind, how we laugh at the misfortune of those characters ;)

psycho psychic

It's coincidence that this article came out today while I read my aol email. Because for some reason, both the gunman and Rebecca Schaeffer entered my head right when I turned off the shower and started to squeegee the walls yesterday. Weird